A boy, barely eighteen,
Deep rancid thoughts plagued his brain, they fester,
They merely kept him thinking of all that is painful.
Harsh night would often blow past his window,
To tell him of his failure.
The mournful nightly chirping of crickets; familiar and vivid,
He knew their harmless intentions,
Yet ambiguity settled and drank from his stream
and the orchestra of their violins whispered their true sad meaning.
Schoolmates poked and prodded,
His past sealed tight in his clenched bloody fist.
He never raised his hand or spoke of much,
His lips barely parted,
For fear that they may not see each other again.
His ears were open too wide,
The sound muffled by the Chaos within.
Scents played with him; nostalgia,
Pain never seemed to cease.
And He Had Old Man Eyes,
Barely eighteen, a boy.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Edge of Chaos
We build ourselves with the success of the knowledge we gain,
Our survival is overly dependent on our resumes,
And our pedigree decides our influence on the law.
With great effort, we rise and climb the ladder,
We force ourselves to push the limit further every day,
The children watch from sidelines barely drawn in the dirt.
They learn from us.
The endless ladder, top-heavy with bureaucrats and the wealthy,
Whose mommies and daddies carved their names in the top-most rung.
Clawing and biting each other on the way up, the children observe,
A well placed foot, on someone's face, ensures our ascent.
We manage to gain a few rungs, compete or die miserable,
Day and Night we struggle against the flow of sharks and bulls.
There is no room for loved ones or friendship, you must be above them.
Then finally, when you reach the restless top,
a lonely song is all you can have as company.
You cannot look down; you'll fall immediately,
You have nothing more to gain, you're on top,
So carve your name on the rung and jump...while the children watch.
Our survival is overly dependent on our resumes,
And our pedigree decides our influence on the law.
With great effort, we rise and climb the ladder,
We force ourselves to push the limit further every day,
The children watch from sidelines barely drawn in the dirt.
They learn from us.
The endless ladder, top-heavy with bureaucrats and the wealthy,
Whose mommies and daddies carved their names in the top-most rung.
Clawing and biting each other on the way up, the children observe,
A well placed foot, on someone's face, ensures our ascent.
We manage to gain a few rungs, compete or die miserable,
Day and Night we struggle against the flow of sharks and bulls.
There is no room for loved ones or friendship, you must be above them.
Then finally, when you reach the restless top,
a lonely song is all you can have as company.
You cannot look down; you'll fall immediately,
You have nothing more to gain, you're on top,
So carve your name on the rung and jump...while the children watch.
Say it
You all think it; I'm a fuck up,
I know I am. I know my faults.
There are so many, point them out.
How could I have known
how much of a horrible human being I was going to be?
This disease within me is eating at my senses,
And yet, you add to the misfortune,
The catacombs of my failure have never lied,
I have nothing to gain and nothing to hide.
You disagree with my existence and my liberty.
Your devastation rings in your voice.
I embrace my distinct stench and deal with it.
I will never wake up from this horrid nightmare...
Say what you think of me,
Hold me down and spit in my face,
Once it's out in the open, you can't judge me,
You can rape my reputation and scrape the life away!
I will only grow stronger for it,
And your intent will be no less than malice.
The crimes of my forfeited existence,
they speak of retribution and regret,
take me away from this monotonous tribulation
and splinter my ego into negative dread,
And then force yourself to justify my suicide.
I know I am. I know my faults.
There are so many, point them out.
How could I have known
how much of a horrible human being I was going to be?
This disease within me is eating at my senses,
And yet, you add to the misfortune,
The catacombs of my failure have never lied,
I have nothing to gain and nothing to hide.
You disagree with my existence and my liberty.
Your devastation rings in your voice.
I embrace my distinct stench and deal with it.
I will never wake up from this horrid nightmare...
Say what you think of me,
Hold me down and spit in my face,
Once it's out in the open, you can't judge me,
You can rape my reputation and scrape the life away!
I will only grow stronger for it,
And your intent will be no less than malice.
The crimes of my forfeited existence,
they speak of retribution and regret,
take me away from this monotonous tribulation
and splinter my ego into negative dread,
And then force yourself to justify my suicide.
Over Coffee (BFF)
If ever we fail to find our love,
And happiness fails to solicit itself,
Or when we want, yet it is not fulfilled,
Our hands will meet and
Special love and understanding will flourish,
On each other we fall back onto,
And forever it will last,
Undying will be the Flame,
The scent of mocha,
The bitter taste of fresh brew
will remind us of the fellowship that passed between us,
Our hearts will cheer and grin with coffee stained teeth.
The never ending laughter of hunger and bathroom breaks,
and eye communication,
will endure through our memory,
And our thoughts will call dibs on the memory
when we order a latte.
True fellowship is genderless and free,
Simple conversations relieve stress,
Over a Venti-Chai we drain our daily worry,
and we consider our brighter futures,
somehow forgetting regret and our frowns,
Clarity points to mecca in our hearts,
And laughter is our transportation.
And tonight as I sleep happy and free,
I will know that my and your hearts will live together.
And happiness fails to solicit itself,
Or when we want, yet it is not fulfilled,
Our hands will meet and
Special love and understanding will flourish,
On each other we fall back onto,
And forever it will last,
Undying will be the Flame,
The scent of mocha,
The bitter taste of fresh brew
will remind us of the fellowship that passed between us,
Our hearts will cheer and grin with coffee stained teeth.
The never ending laughter of hunger and bathroom breaks,
and eye communication,
will endure through our memory,
And our thoughts will call dibs on the memory
when we order a latte.
True fellowship is genderless and free,
Simple conversations relieve stress,
Over a Venti-Chai we drain our daily worry,
and we consider our brighter futures,
somehow forgetting regret and our frowns,
Clarity points to mecca in our hearts,
And laughter is our transportation.
And tonight as I sleep happy and free,
I will know that my and your hearts will live together.
The Truth About Farting
Why be conservative,
Let it loose and be free to be human.
No judgment from me shall befall your indiscretion,
And your valor will be condoned!
Our body has function,
Social taboo or not, Its completely Natural,
Like Peeing your pants after an amazing laugh, it happens.
In conclusion, let it rip,
And have no fear of Embarrassment,
They all do the same thing,
Only, their's probably smells as if
The family pet crawled up there and died while choking
on the Stick that they found shoved inside!
Let it loose and be free to be human.
No judgment from me shall befall your indiscretion,
And your valor will be condoned!
Our body has function,
Social taboo or not, Its completely Natural,
Like Peeing your pants after an amazing laugh, it happens.
In conclusion, let it rip,
And have no fear of Embarrassment,
They all do the same thing,
Only, their's probably smells as if
The family pet crawled up there and died while choking
on the Stick that they found shoved inside!
Smile And Bleed
The kingdom is going down,
Destroyed from within by the cancer of neglect and greed.
Unfortunate emotional starvation,
And imagination is no longer integral and pure.
All the Labour-Beasts are sallow and melting,
Weakness has infested and betrayed trust and understanding.
Like hired help or pack mules overloaded,
The atmosphere is deteriorating and mutiny is at hand.
Up in arms and in attempted boycott,
Droves of those who once loved are shot down and forgotten.
We are told to follow and accept,
Yet we secretly disagree and loathe,
Your type of thinking could crack the foundation.
So grab my hand and lie to me,
Hold me up high so that I can suffocate in the poisonous atmosphere,
Break up the morale of those who deserve fairness,
And they quickly forget to not smile,
Like dumb cats who will run themselves into walls,
And then lick their bloody wounds until they die of blood loss.
Destroyed from within by the cancer of neglect and greed.
Unfortunate emotional starvation,
And imagination is no longer integral and pure.
All the Labour-Beasts are sallow and melting,
Weakness has infested and betrayed trust and understanding.
Like hired help or pack mules overloaded,
The atmosphere is deteriorating and mutiny is at hand.
Up in arms and in attempted boycott,
Droves of those who once loved are shot down and forgotten.
We are told to follow and accept,
Yet we secretly disagree and loathe,
Your type of thinking could crack the foundation.
So grab my hand and lie to me,
Hold me up high so that I can suffocate in the poisonous atmosphere,
Break up the morale of those who deserve fairness,
And they quickly forget to not smile,
Like dumb cats who will run themselves into walls,
And then lick their bloody wounds until they die of blood loss.
Science of Love
You've tried, in vain, the chain was never around my neck,
and never was I your pet to beg and train.
Never consider my thoughts, my love hurt for that,
Never ask my desires, my care was forfeit,
Never try to make it more, my body was turned off to you.
Advice follows as I close your book:
Heart lost feeling and chest was numb,
Trust followed love beyond its berth,
Lost, I'm sure.
emptiness suffocates promise, it's too dark to find them now.
You closed the lid to tight; they died. Or did I?
An image hindered by my heartless sleeves.
Rage urged my own brutality; piss on your head
rub your face in the fecal decay we'd become.
Change not sudden, the boundaries hazed in ambiguity,
the tides went out; who knowns when?
Bastard, sit down, hear, indulge,
Like a child, nourishment encourages life,
Like a bird, a cage taunts freedom,
Like a zit, puss festers, burns, carves!
Love, too delicate, unqantified.
and never was I your pet to beg and train.
Never consider my thoughts, my love hurt for that,
Never ask my desires, my care was forfeit,
Never try to make it more, my body was turned off to you.
Advice follows as I close your book:
Heart lost feeling and chest was numb,
Trust followed love beyond its berth,
Lost, I'm sure.
emptiness suffocates promise, it's too dark to find them now.
You closed the lid to tight; they died. Or did I?
An image hindered by my heartless sleeves.
Rage urged my own brutality; piss on your head
rub your face in the fecal decay we'd become.
Change not sudden, the boundaries hazed in ambiguity,
the tides went out; who knowns when?
Bastard, sit down, hear, indulge,
Like a child, nourishment encourages life,
Like a bird, a cage taunts freedom,
Like a zit, puss festers, burns, carves!
Love, too delicate, unqantified.
Fidelity
Unanswered, suspicion grows wildly in the shade
As expected, loyalty absolute, reciprocation unknown
A promise, procured, beneath cold sheets
---Forced compliance and submission
Words, softly spoken, echo in thought
Urequited, consumated by the chill
Tomorrow can be hopeful
Tomorrow is to be feared
A sickness, dwelling in waist-deep loneliness
---Foreseen, a dimly lit horror, the future
Resonating circumstance, it seems devastating
What is left? I loathe your touch
Ultimate judgment, buried premonition
A desperate vengence boils near the core
---Remember vow, Remember strength
Try to ignore weakness, Try to ignore fault
---Ignore temptation, the fine is damning
Embrace wholly, the loss would be great
As expected, loyalty absolute, reciprocation unknown
A promise, procured, beneath cold sheets
---Forced compliance and submission
Words, softly spoken, echo in thought
Urequited, consumated by the chill
Tomorrow can be hopeful
Tomorrow is to be feared
A sickness, dwelling in waist-deep loneliness
---Foreseen, a dimly lit horror, the future
Resonating circumstance, it seems devastating
What is left? I loathe your touch
Ultimate judgment, buried premonition
A desperate vengence boils near the core
---Remember vow, Remember strength
Try to ignore weakness, Try to ignore fault
---Ignore temptation, the fine is damning
Embrace wholly, the loss would be great
Of Lust
It's probably on of the hardest things to describe. The sensation resonates in your toes and almost instantly surges throughout your entire body, finally ceasing in the pit of your stomach. For all the right reasons, you feel wrong. Certain moral values are burnt into you as a child, but then, at that exact moment, you could care less about morality. Aside from obvious formalities, communication is strictly physical at first and often from across a crowded room. You stare. The gaze is returned, unobstructed. Time slows, but you long for a fast forward button to pass the unnerving silence. Initiation is a subject easily taught, but such an act, however simple and painless, takes every spoon-full of energy and guts your body has to offer. You hold your coward's tongue at knife point, forcing it to cooperate. Thoughts race with endless possibilities; a beautiful tragedy.
Conversation rolls off of your animated tongue; its actions inspired and resilient. Your numb brain is controlling your body like a drunken puppet master who is blinded by excitement and intrigue. The topic, random and pointless, is a mask to cover the true subject that is being communicated through their and your eyes. Time races with your heart and your tongue; leaving but few seconds for the flirtatious smirks and blinks. The unspoken question repeated every second within the cage of your chest. The bedlam of bodies and partying circulates around you. You don't notice or care. You forget the fury of the storm when you are in its eye.
Ambient lighting allows you to see the sea of their body. The comforter bears witness to harmony and rhythm. Flesh tangles and merges as one. Your body, as if swimming in the thickness of intimacy, forgets to breathe and forges a transparent bond with the feeling in your gut. Every angle of the bed is discovered. Your left hand, Magellan, and your right, Napoleon, You explore and conquer. Voiceless lips, diplomats, follow your hands. The trust and desire moistens your skin; it screams to be touched. Breathing feels foreign and forced out of your lungs. Shallow breath becomes deep and your bodies surge. Again time freezes, but your bodies gain momentum. The core of you surges uncontrollably giving you brief windows for you to consume oxygen. You grasp each other and cling together through the tempest. One last convulsion surges and your body is squeezed tight. Your legs drain, your face tightens, your toes curl, your lungs force you to take one big quick gasp then forcing out a powerful soul shaking sound that slices through the silence. Your bodies slowly cease movement. Reality awakens in your mind and you look next to yourself at a tired, smiling, beautiful tragedy.
Conversation rolls off of your animated tongue; its actions inspired and resilient. Your numb brain is controlling your body like a drunken puppet master who is blinded by excitement and intrigue. The topic, random and pointless, is a mask to cover the true subject that is being communicated through their and your eyes. Time races with your heart and your tongue; leaving but few seconds for the flirtatious smirks and blinks. The unspoken question repeated every second within the cage of your chest. The bedlam of bodies and partying circulates around you. You don't notice or care. You forget the fury of the storm when you are in its eye.
Ambient lighting allows you to see the sea of their body. The comforter bears witness to harmony and rhythm. Flesh tangles and merges as one. Your body, as if swimming in the thickness of intimacy, forgets to breathe and forges a transparent bond with the feeling in your gut. Every angle of the bed is discovered. Your left hand, Magellan, and your right, Napoleon, You explore and conquer. Voiceless lips, diplomats, follow your hands. The trust and desire moistens your skin; it screams to be touched. Breathing feels foreign and forced out of your lungs. Shallow breath becomes deep and your bodies surge. Again time freezes, but your bodies gain momentum. The core of you surges uncontrollably giving you brief windows for you to consume oxygen. You grasp each other and cling together through the tempest. One last convulsion surges and your body is squeezed tight. Your legs drain, your face tightens, your toes curl, your lungs force you to take one big quick gasp then forcing out a powerful soul shaking sound that slices through the silence. Your bodies slowly cease movement. Reality awakens in your mind and you look next to yourself at a tired, smiling, beautiful tragedy.
The Blaming Game
"End the rowl" demanded, ignored,
My responsibility branded by your pointed index.
Defense, fruitless, hidden in contempt,
you'll only swallow and dismiss; flatulent relief.
Soap-box perceptions, mine or your own?
Reality or not, the spotlight burns despite.
Truth, unseen, shall distract your logic,
I offer fruit.
An ear, an innocent idea, relief for built up pressure,
Knowledge tears behind my cage, you hide it so well.
A thought, condemning, herding sympathy and hope,
you call me a devil for my insight.
A leader's skill beyond eager denial,
Ignorance you shall name your fear,
cultivated confidence needs sunlight and virtue.
A rapture of slipping power to remove me.
Like a Spider; damned for its mere existence and nature.
It is growth, not stagnation, positively.
More than willing to endure self-degradation; I, enemy,
a martyr of sorts....look it up!
My responsibility branded by your pointed index.
Defense, fruitless, hidden in contempt,
you'll only swallow and dismiss; flatulent relief.
Soap-box perceptions, mine or your own?
Reality or not, the spotlight burns despite.
Truth, unseen, shall distract your logic,
I offer fruit.
An ear, an innocent idea, relief for built up pressure,
Knowledge tears behind my cage, you hide it so well.
A thought, condemning, herding sympathy and hope,
you call me a devil for my insight.
A leader's skill beyond eager denial,
Ignorance you shall name your fear,
cultivated confidence needs sunlight and virtue.
A rapture of slipping power to remove me.
Like a Spider; damned for its mere existence and nature.
It is growth, not stagnation, positively.
More than willing to endure self-degradation; I, enemy,
a martyr of sorts....look it up!
Riding A Phoenix
A legacy to mark expiration, a concession,
A gift, the clay I mold bears no resemblance,
Why? you ask, forgetting nature, God,
A change; not to be feared,
release from fleshly bonds; born anew.
Pride forgotten, a soul can be joyous, bright,
with branded nooses to burst aflame.
Nivana proclaimed with my name, memory everlasting,
Fly onward, now, pointing home, an ashy trail,
singing warmth by default; ageless.
A gift, the clay I mold bears no resemblance,
Why? you ask, forgetting nature, God,
A change; not to be feared,
release from fleshly bonds; born anew.
Pride forgotten, a soul can be joyous, bright,
with branded nooses to burst aflame.
Nivana proclaimed with my name, memory everlasting,
Fly onward, now, pointing home, an ashy trail,
singing warmth by default; ageless.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Entering The Viod
Aging youthful pupils mourn, the torment beyond their years,
Faith decayed and stained my fingernails crimson and pale,
And too many questions are hypothetical these days.
Annoying plagues arrange themselves freely among us,
And we are forced to deal with it. Deal with it!
Well, divinity and deity can speak up for themselves,
Spare my heart the weight and worry, you'll crush it.
My scar tissue is branded with the mark,
A mark, given anonymously, beastly, government issue?
Not "my" government; hardly identical, discarded.
Just an ancient portrait for the puppet masters to reference!
Unfortunate, my frailty, my innate strength and poise,
and time alone can tell me how this disease will kill me.
Others are infected; my stereotype, condemned.
Judgement offered, but fickle faith cannot support me.
Blind Justice will not see, she thrives on hatred.
With frailty and loss of faith we crawl,
our scared persona, watching, alive,
our wake, too afraid to close the lid; they want it done.
And the Void calls to us with never ending appeal,
Ready to consume us and our faulty pedigrees,
To reap our substance and call it self-slaughter.
Faith decayed and stained my fingernails crimson and pale,
And too many questions are hypothetical these days.
Annoying plagues arrange themselves freely among us,
And we are forced to deal with it. Deal with it!
Well, divinity and deity can speak up for themselves,
Spare my heart the weight and worry, you'll crush it.
My scar tissue is branded with the mark,
A mark, given anonymously, beastly, government issue?
Not "my" government; hardly identical, discarded.
Just an ancient portrait for the puppet masters to reference!
Unfortunate, my frailty, my innate strength and poise,
and time alone can tell me how this disease will kill me.
Others are infected; my stereotype, condemned.
Judgement offered, but fickle faith cannot support me.
Blind Justice will not see, she thrives on hatred.
With frailty and loss of faith we crawl,
our scared persona, watching, alive,
our wake, too afraid to close the lid; they want it done.
And the Void calls to us with never ending appeal,
Ready to consume us and our faulty pedigrees,
To reap our substance and call it self-slaughter.
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